Google admits its Gemini AI just takes its historical figures from Netflix films

In a stunning admission, Google has revealed that its highly touted Gemini AI, which generates lifelike images of historical figures, relies heavily on Netflix documentaries where all white people are portrayed as black. The Gemini AI, touted as a groundbreaking tool for bringing history to life, has come under fire after it was discovered that … Read more

BREAKING: McConnell and Schumer unite under MUGA (Make Ukraine Great Again) banner to combat MAGA

In a bizarre twist of political theater, Senate leaders Mitch McConnell and Chuck Schumer have joined forces under the banner of “MUGA” (Make Ukraine Great Again), ostensibly to combat the rising influence of MAGA (Make America Great Again). Amidst efforts to push through yet another hefty aid package, this time a whopping $95 billion for … Read more

‘I will no longer be complicit in genocide’ shouts man who accidentally contributes to the genocide of his own people

In a stunning display of misguided activism, Aaron Bushnell, a self-proclaimed pro-Palestine Air Force member, inadvertently became a casualty of his own protest after setting himself on fire to decry what he believed to be genocide in the Middle East. Bushnell’s dramatic act of self-immolation occurred during a crowded demonstration outside the gates of a … Read more

President signs executive order making Feb 30th ‘Joe Biden Day’

WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move aimed at reshaping his legacy and silencing his critics, President* Biden has signed an executive order designating February 30th as “Joe Biden Day.” The announcement comes amidst a flurry of negative press and growing skepticism about the President’s leadership. White House spokesperson, Dee Mencha, took to the podium to clarify … Read more

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell to step down from Senate leadership role to focus more on staring blankly into space

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has left Capitol Hill both puzzled and oddly relieved, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has announced his decision to step down from his leadership role to dedicate more time to his favorite pastime: staring blankly into space for minutes at a time. The announcement came during a particularly tense Senate … Read more